There has been so much going on here and I just don't know where to start. I think I will start with ?
? moods have been horrible, especially towards me. I don't seem to be doing or saying anything right in his eyes and when I do say anything he intimidates me, patronizes me or manipulates me. I don't know where I am most of the time with him. I am trying to get in the Christmas spirit, but something always gets in the way to upset me.
*Then there's my Zoe! She has been stupid enough to self-harm herself. I am so worried about that girl... This is the second time she has done this. She came round on Thursday with her new boyfriend and by the way she was talking it seems to me that she planned it so she could get her own way to leave her mums house.
I was listening to her to what, and how she was saying things. She had attitude and she seemed crafty. She is not the Zoe I know who was so sweet and lovely. She has changed.
*Then there is Steven! He makes everything not worth anything. His outlook on life is next to none and he keeps mimicking religious stuff, he is anti-religious and the things he says and does makes me so angry. It's not just religious stuff, its everything he says and does, or don't do! It is really hard to explain what Steven is like and what he says.
*And the is me! When ? has his bad mood swings aimed at me I just can't keep quite and let it go, I retaliate and say what I want to say good or bad and I do the same with Steven. And, when I'm doing things that go wrong, I swear to myself out loud. I'm either dropping things a lot or something boils over on the cooker or I cut myself, the latter I do a lot and I just get angry with myself. I don't get any help from either ? or Steven. All I get is where's this or that, where's my tea, where's my dinner. Buying and cooking food, cleaning and washing-up, or anything come to that I have to do it with no help that matters, just little bits here and there like opening a tin, something like that. I feel so angry and lost inside and it shows on my face. I find it hard to laugh properly, I am more stone faced and I hate being like this.

The atmosphere here in this house is way off as being homely and comfortable. I feel like a stranger in my own home and I don't know what to do about it. When I'm on my own I feel really good about everything and I can get on with stuff that I want to do around the house, things that I am able to do that is as I get so tired and fatigued.
I have noticed a few times that I have almost passed out. Like yesterday while shopping I was so dizzy and fell sideways onto the trolly. It was such a weird feeling. I had already had breakfast, so it wasn't that I hadn't eaten at all. I will have to keep an eye on that. I had already checked my blood sugars previous to breakfast yesterday morning which read 4.4 which is normal
I have been dieting since October  when I weighed in at 13st.8lbs and have lost 1st.5lbs so far. I have been eating proper meals by cutting down on portions, and drinking loads of hot water and doing light exercises that I can manage.

I feel really good of what I have achieved and will start a new diet in the New Year Tuesday 3/1/2017 as I want to lose at least another 2stone. I must keep check on what I eat over the Christmas and New Year Holidays. 

MERRY CHRISTMA and A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

from me...Sarah!