Thursday, 28 September 2017

Acute Attack of C.O.P.D.

I've been on antibiotics for over a week now and I don't feel any better, in fact getting worse.
When I saw my GP yesterday, I told him that I've  been ill and been on my emergency pack of antibiotics Amoxicillin 500 and that I have had an acute C.O.P.D. attack early hours the previous morning, so he told me to start taking my steroids Prednisolone. So, I started taking them yesterday.

It was only about a month ago that I was on all the medications mentioned above. 

Victims Support...

25th September Alan took me to the Drs. Surgery for my flu jab. I first spoke to Jo one of the receptionists about my situation with Bert and what had happend. She gave me a phone no. to Victims Support, then Jo took me into see the nurse for my flu jab as I was late for my appointment because I was talking to Jo.
When I got home I rang Victims Support and was waiting for a return phone call, but it didn't come, so the next day 26th September I rang again and spoke to Charlotte and she made me an appointment to see her the following day. Charlotte was very nice and made me feel comfortable.
27th September Alan took me for my appointment with Charlotte. I told her what had happened and Alan spoke up for me with more detail. And Charlotte filled my forms in for me for Sheltered Accomodation and made arrangements for alarms to be installed in my house while I'm still living here.
Charlotte is making arrangements for me to see a councilor too.

I need to get a letter from Charlotte, Victims Support for my GP to write a letter concerning my health conditions and how they affect me.

29th September a man is coming to install alarms around my house for me  and Charlotte is coming with him, she will most likely have the letter I need for my GP with her.
I feel mortified really because they will be coming in a van with Victims Support plastered all over the van which will make me feel embarrassed. 

I have got an appointment with my hairdressers as well today 29th. I will have to cancel the appointment as I have other commitment's also I'm not well enough to have my hair done anyway.

Days Outings...

Ive been going out with Alan and Emma everyday, sometimes with Jade, Alfie and Zoe or one or two of the other. 
Ive been too Hertfodshire on several occasions to St. Alban's Cathedral, and a lovely park close by, and another park near the same area, I think its called Stanton park not quite sure of the name and Dobbs Weir. And I went to Felixstowe for a couple of hours with Alan, Emma and Zoe too.

Aunt Glad's Funeral...

Alan took me to Aunt Glads funeral 18th September at Corbet Tey
I felt very emotional because I did want to see her before she passed away and wasn't able to due to circumstances. We had such lovely chats on the phone before she went into hospital and it was lovely to talk to her and I will always treasure our little chats on the phone.

I met my cousin's Marilyn and Pauline after many years, not quite sure how many, it must be at least 40 years, maybe more. It was nice to see them both and and it was nice to meet their families too. I will keep in contact with Marilyn. I haven't got Pauline's phone no.

Monday, 11 September 2017

My Life Has Changed and Learned a lot...

Well, what can I say. These past three weeks my life has changed...for the better I might add.

*31st August 2017 I went to see a solicitor and applied for a non molestation and occupancy order on Bert to stay away from me and my house, Sheila and Sheila's house.
*4th August I went to the family court and was granted an injunction on Bert.
*Night before last, Wednesday evening Sheila contacted Gary who is Sheila and Alan's half brother, my son from a previous marriage for me via facebook messenger and he replied Thursday morning. Sheila and Gary got chatting about who Sheila is and Gary wanted to meet up with us straight away. So, Sheila and I went to pick Gary up and brought him back to Sheila's house where we all had a heart to heart talk about what had happened to Gary years back and why I put him in care for his own safety and what had been happening to us too through the years.
There was a lot of things that I knew and Gary told me more that I thought might be and he proved it by telling myself, Sheila and Alan. 
I was mortified to learn the full story of what Gary had been going through at home with Bert and me, I had no idea the extent of what had been happening to him as Bert kept me away from Gary and when he was sent to a children home in Devon he was treated just the same.
Gary thought Sheila and Alan had the perfect home life and when it was all explained to him that he wasn't the only one who was abused and beaten, he was clearly surprised.

Over these last three weeks a lot of things have come to light, things I didn't even dream of and I am absolutely mortified to learn of these awful sadistic issues. 
How could this have happened to my lovely boy, my son, my own flesh and blood. I feel so angry, so upset with two certain people in the family who were involved concerning Gary and who I fully trusted. 
I was awake all that night when I was told and had all night to process all the issues and I think something should be done about them. It makes me feel so sick to know that two people in the family had abused Gary. I want revenge, I want the worst thing to happen to them, but I don't know what to do about it.
* Saturday 9th September. I have learned a lot more that has been going on within the family, and again I couldn't sleep at all because of the things that has gone on within my own family. There is at least 3 more big cans of worms been opened this past week. I am seething inside and it makes me sick to know that I have been part of that F*****G family. 
I would never dream in a million years that any of it had been going on under my nose. I've shrugged off lots of things over the years and put them at the back of my mind, but had no idea of the horror and anguish my close family members have gone through that I have recently learned.
I can't write about it myself, in fact I don't think I would be able to put it all into words. What I do think is if it was written properly then it would be a Best Seller.

Monday, 28 August 2017

Vile Abusive Behaviour

My name is: Sandra C Yates
Ex-Husband is: Albert W Yates...known as Bert. 

19/08/2017 Saturday...
Well, we did get to go on our holiday at Vauxhall Holiday Park at Gt.Yarmouth in Norfolk. But, on the way there Bert kept saying if it was now he would never had booked the holiday and we wouldn't be going. It wasn't him who booked the holiday, it was me. Anyway Bert was unpleasant most of the time on the way there and when we first arrived at reception Bert ( I usually call him hubby or used the ? mark to refer to him on Blogger or Facebook, but I will use his name as I call him from now) anyway, Bert had a row at the reception desk about the 
caravan being dirty or not up to his expectations and asked for the money back, but the two girls Zoe and Jade our G/daughters said they wanted to stay, so we stayed.
In the evening we all went to the club house to watch the show and had a few drinks. The evening was good and all went off ok.
20/08/2017 Sunday...
The first day Bert was moody and picky as usual, but not excessive to really upset, myself and Steven are used to his moody ways, but the two girls are not used to Bert's mood swings. 
We all went to ASDA's to get some shopping in. All was ok. Later we all went to the sea front, the two girls went to the Pleasure Beach  while Bert, Steven and myself went to the market place opposite Britanica Pier. 
Bert, Steven and myself wandered slowly along looking in shops ect...I said I wanted something to eat as I was hungry and needed something to eat quickly as I am diabetic and hadn't eaten since 7am that morning and it was roughly 1:pm...ish!  Bert kept on about me being a fat slob and being abusive and talking loud so other people could hear him about other people passing by being fat and in wheelchairs or walking sticks and do I want to be like them...ect...ect! I felt awful. (this is the sort of thing he does on a daily basis when out or in-doors) 
Bert had two breakfast that morning like he does every morning. Steven our G/son said he was hungry too and Bert said lets find somewhere to eat. Bert didn't try and put Steven down or belittle him like he did me, not that I'm saying anything about Steven, hes a good person. We met up with the two girls Zoe and Jade a bit later by the pier, then we made our way back to the caravan.  
The second day was ok, just as I expected it to be really (as above). In the evening we went to the club house to watch the show and we had a few drinks. All was still ok as well as could be expected and the evening went well. 
I had already arranged our sleeping arrangement like this: Bert have the double bed to himself as he is badly ill and I sleep in the lounge. The arrangements had always been the other way round before, Bert in the lounge and me in the bed. The sofa in the lounge I did find very comfortable. I haven't had anything to do with Bert intermately since he left me roughly 15 years back, I think!?? Not sure of dates, it could be longer or less.
21/08/2017 Monday...
The girls went swimming and then back to their rooms. I cooked some dinner and had to rest after for a bit as I felt tired/fatigued. 
That evening we went to the club house again. Bert was drunk very moody and picky especially about the two girls and said I'm supposed to be looking after them ect...I said they're ok, they were sitting outside on their own smoking and talking to each other. I wasn't taking any notice of his manner at the time, I just let it go through me, I didn't want to argue. I kept quite and rested my eyes a bit while listening to the singing. Then Bert said, whats the matter with you. I said, I'm resting my eyes and listening to the singing (I've got Glaucoma and cataracts and needed to rest my eyes for a bit) Then Bert said, we're going home and I said, what? Bert said, we're fucking going back home and more nasty verbal and calling the two girls fucking slags and sluts and whores, their just looking for older men. I said no they're not they're sitting outside talking to each other. I said, what's the matter with you??
I got up and started to walk away, he tried to grab my arm and he shouted where you fucking going so everyone could hear and I just carried on walking outside the room. I do try to walk away from unpleasant situations. I carried on walking and he kept shouting for me to stop, but I didn't.
Bert followed me, when he caught up with me he grabbed my right arm and put his face in mine menacingly and said, I've given you everything, he called me a fat c u n t...and bringing up past argument events and saying I'm always the same. I said I didn't say anything, this is all your doing. It was all uncalled for and nothing to do with the present situation and don't know why he done that., well I do, he's always done it. I didn't provoke him or anything or pick up on his choice of words towards me. I pulled away from his grip and then he went after the two girls and started calling them names...slags, sluts, whores and some words I couldn't hear properly. The two girls were just sitting on their own smoking and talking outside the club house. Bert caught up with the girls before me as I'm a slow walker due to health.
Zoe went into one of her anxiety states and wanted to know what she had done wrong (she hadn't done anything wrong) Jade held her own against Bert with his vicious words and defended her self with her own words which I don't blame her for.
Zoe walked off in a terrible state and Jade walked the other way. I called Zoe to come back and had to shout at her to calm her down 
Bert had gone after Jade. Steven (G/son) had been trying to stop Bert by trying his best to hold Bert back. 
Zoe and myself followed Bert, Steven and Jade. 
Zoe and myself caught up with Steven and Jade and Bert was being really nasty towards Jade, he called her a slut, slag and a whore and the next thing I saw was Bert throwing a punch at Jades face. Jade ducked and Steven held him back and tried to calm him down. At that point I had no choice but to call the police and told them what was happening ect...and I wanted them here and now! 
Again Zoe had run off in a right anxiety state. Bert and Steven started to walk away. I told Jade to go and look for Zoe which she did. I made my way back to the caravan and got in just before Bert and Steven arrived. A little bit later the police arrived and Bert said those fucking slags have called the police. I turned my head and faced him and said, they didn't call the police, I did and his face dropped. He didn't expect that. 
The police spoke to Bert and me seperately. I said, I wanted Bert took out of the caravan. I didn't get him arrested. I didn't know what to do as I've never done this type of thing myself before. Bert was taken to an apartment on site and Steven went with him, but they didn't stay the night. Bert drove home absolutely drunk.  And, he took half of the holiday money with him. I had taken £500 of my own money with me which I spent and Bert took £1,000 we had put between us for the holiday and I had to get more money from my acc while I was at Vauxhall holiday park which was another £250.
Jade had phoned Alan (her dad, my son) and told him. I had to phone Sheila Zoe's mum (my daughter) and told her and Sheila drove here during the night and arrived around 4:am from Dagenham and had to leave around mid-day as she had an appointment for her car to be repaired.
Sheila phoned Wednesday morning to say Bert had been round to her house threatening to kill her and Zoe and he was coming back to the caravan site. 
Bert had clearly frightened Sheila so she called the police and made a statement against him and they went round my house to pick him up and took him to the police station where they kept him over night.

I got panicky when Sheila told me Bert was coming back to Gt.Yarmouth and told Sheila to send Alan that day to the caravan, which she did. 
After the phone call I went round to reception and I told them what was happening and they put security in place for me while on site. 
Still Wednesday 23/08/2017:
I wasn't going to let Bert ruin our bit of holiday, so the two girls and  I went into Hemsby for a hour and Alan met up with us there around 3:pm...ish! I felt safe with Alan there with us because I know he would be able to stand up to Bert if needed.

We came home Thursday 24/08/2017. We got as far as The Moby Dick pub on The Eastern Avenue and I got a phone call from Bert. I had been ignoring his calls all week. 
Alan took the phone off me and spoke to him. We got home, Alan parked around the corner, he told me to stay in the car while he and the two girls went to meet Sheila at the house. Bert had just got back from the police station, they kept him in over night. The door was locked and Alan had to kick the door in. The police came once again, they took my door key from him. Bert said its his house and he wanted everyone out of it. Alan came and got me once Bert had left and the police spoke to me. I told them I was the tenant, not Bert.

A week before the holiday Bert threatened to kill me, says things to belittle me and said he could never be happy here at this house. I said, you don't have to come here do you. I've even told him several times over the years that I don't want him at my house and told him I hate him. I've told him many times I wanted my street door key back and he says its his house not mine. I'm the tenant of my house and he still says its his house.
He still thinks I'm still his wife (not in a sexual way) 

I dreaded it when Bert arrives each morning at 7:am. He's always in a foul mood and puts me down all the time. He complains about everything. And, I was glad when it was time for Bert to leave the house. Sometimes he stayed later in the evenings because his wife Mary had gone out or had family around on occasions.

My daily life is like this:
I get up at 6:am and unlock the door. Bert comes in around 7:am, he has breakfast and tea, then goes to lay on my bed and I have to keep quite. He gets up around 10:am and I have to make more breakfast more tea for him and listen to his moans and groans everyday. I cook dinner, wash up and make several cups of tea throughout the day for Bert and if the tea isn't to what he wants I have to make more, sometime 3 or 4 more cups until its right. In the afternoon Bert watched the horse-racing and gambles on my online W/Hill acc. He used my money from my bank acc, he also gave me the money back in my hand for what he used and always said I keep taking his money. I didn't take any money off him, only what he used on W/Hill which is my money. I paid for all the food, rent, gas and electric andVirginmedia. 
In the afternoon I stayed in my room as I don't like being in the same room as him and if I was a sleep he would come and wake me as he wanted to lay down and I had to wake him around 5:pm so he could go home to his wife. And when he had gone sometimes I felt anxious, angry and it took a long time for me to feel at ease.
I feel I have been used for Bert to verbally abuse, manipulate, patronize and intimidate over the years. 

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Oliver Twist Existence...

Over the years there has been heartache and laughter, I suppose like in a lot of families, but at the time of woe we always think we're the only ones don't we? I would say it all comes down to hubbies compulsive gambling and up bringing.

In the early days I was madly in love with hubby, I really did love him. He has always had a strong character, much stronger than myself and I looked up to him even though he is a few years younger than me you would think he is older than me and always loved the way he conducts himself.
Hubby was a lovely person and still is, but at times he can be so controlling and suffocating, even worse these days. But saying all that, there's still something there that I love about him even with all his patronizing, intimidating, manipulative ways which he has got really bad. At times I was the under body, the door mat and I felt like I had lost my own identity, and still feel like it.
I put his ways down to how hubby had been brought up, well, dragged up I should say. 
His family lived like Oliver Twist days and the kids had to go out and forage for money or thieve to survive to keep the whole family. Hubbies problems go right back to them days. 
He didn't have any schooling because his dad Alb, I called him Fagan because that's who he was like. What people saw of Alb on the surface was a very nice man, but he was horrible to his family. He used to beat and starve the kids and hubbies mum too, she got the brunt of it all. Anyway, hubbies dad didn't send him to school or the other kids either and he pawned all their school uniforms or sold stuff that the were sent out to steal, and hubby had to go out and get food and money so they could all survive.

I think the good in hubby is what his 3 uncle's put in him. They're the ones who had better lives, not perfect, but better and they were good to their families and they helped hubby. 
Hubby went to live with his uncle George from time to time
It is quite sad really because even without being able to read and write he has got through life, he has got such a good character and can do many things, things that I can't even do, he's a survivor. 
I can read and write, but he is much better and clever than me. Hubby had to grow up at an early age. With the proper education I'm sure he could have gone to college or even university too and I'm sure he would have had a completely different life.
Its funny because hubbies brother Harry came round yesterday and we all had a lengthy chat and a good laugh and all this mentioned above was being disgust and how they were treated when they were kids and how they have come through it all and how they are today. 
Two of the younger sibling's had no clothing to wear and was beaten badly and they never went outside the door or to school. There were 10 kids, one died at birth. It is all so sad. All the brother's and sisters have always said the baby that died had a narrow escape, that goes to show how bad things were for them all.
Alb, their dad used to buy fish and chips. He would have the fish and chips and hand his wife and kids a few chips on a piece of paper and that was their dinner. Alb would have cups of tea and everyone else water.
Alb had greyhounds, one at any one time and he raced them at Rye House and he gambled and smoked. He bought steak for the greyhound and little else for his family. He used to give the cigarette ends to his wife so she could break them down to make cigarette's for herself or a couple of the kids who smoked. 
This is no far fetched story, this was real life in the 1960's for hubbies family. I could go on and on with different things, terrible things that had happened, but I will leave it here, the picture has been painted...


Acute Attack of C.O.P.D.

I've been on antibiotics for over a week now and I don't feel any better, in fact getting worse. When I saw my GP yesterday, I told...