Tuesday, 18 July 2017

Tried Out A Couple Of Things...


I've been trying out a couple of things this week. 
I've made a few graphics using my phone, made a couple of CD's and I tried to burn photos to DVD, but was unable to for some reason, so will try again. Can't think what it is I'm doing wrong right now, but I will get there in the end.
I also made my own face mask with Bi-Carbonated Soda. I made a paste of Bi-carb and water and put it on my face, left it to dry for about 10 minutes, then wash it off with tepid water. It works wonders and made my face looks and feel fresh and clean, and the bi-carb pulled out a couple of blackheads I had noticed I had. 
There are several things Bi-Carbonated Soda can b used for.
  



I/we are all going to Vauxhall holiday park Gt.Yarmouth in August, so really looking forward too that, just to get a break from home for a while. 
We have been there before and liked it although I do prefer Havens Holiday Parks myself as I think they are more classy and next to the beach where Vauxhall is a bit inland. Vauxhall was the only place I could find where there is no smoking allowed or animals in the caravan for the week we wanted to go away for our holiday. What I like about Vauxhall's is the shops and everything is under cover. I think there is more things been added to the site since I last went there which was about 6-8 years ago...I think! because there was some building going on last time I went there and I don't remember The Tree House being there. And I also like it as it is close to the main shop ASDA, trains and buses, not that I will be using trains or buses myself, and Gt.Yarmouth beach isn't too far away anyway, walking distance really for able bodied people.










Wednesday, 5 July 2017

Wish Something Nice Will Happen...


I had a normal pleasant day yesterday (Tuesday). There was no bad feelings or cross words, the day passed with no conflict at all.

Today, I still felt tired from Sunday after doing some chores. It took me a couple of days to get over doing chores that I should never have attempted in the first place as it was far too much for me. I wanted to do them as I felt good in myself at the time and didn't give it another thought and not thinking how it was going to affect me in the long run.

This morning ? and I went to The Heathway to buy a birthday card. ? parked the car in Blackborne Road at the rear of the Mall. There was a Police car and a Dog handler car parked near where we parked and the Police were in one of the houses.
Anyway, we bought the card, we passed Percy Ingle Baker shop and my favorite cake was in the window and beckoning me to buy it, but I was strong and walked on by...sigh! 
We noticed how many shops had closed down. Its a wonder the Mall is still open. We went to the car and came home.
Once in-doors I made a potato salad for ? and myself for dinner. Steven microwaved a small steak and kidney pudding each, for him and Zoe. I had cooked some mash and broccoli for them.
After I had washed and put away the dishes,  I washed a couple of my bits of clothing by hand and sat in the garden and watched them drip...haha! Nah, I just sat in my lounger in the shade for about an hour while it was quite and listened with my earphones on too some soft music on my phone. It was warm and peaceful and I felt so relaxed...sigh! I then went and watched some TV in my room and fell asleep, can't remember what I was watching at the time.

? was sitting in the lounge watching a cowboy film and changing channels so he could watch the horse racing in between or the other way round!? 
Zoe was getting ready to go to a birthday party in Hornchurch, she was meeting up with her friend katy and they were going together and she was going back to Katy's to stay the night. 


After Zoe had gone out, I went in her room to straighten it up a bit, you would think Zoe had burglar's in her room, everything was all over the place, anyway I picked things up and put them aside so I could straighten her bed and get to her window to shut it. Zoe came home at 7am this morning (Wednesday).
After ? went out, I put a few bits away in my room. Then got myself a cup of tea and cream crackers with cream cheese on and watched TV in the lounge. I watched the first half of Emmerdale as it was an hour long, I changed channels and watched Eastenders. 

I then went to my room to Holby so my G/son Steven could watch his  programs he wanted to watch in the lounge while I so could relax and watch Midsomer Murders on ITV3 in my room, I then settled down for the night. 

Last night was hot, and has been for a few nights now. I did have a good nights sleep and I was still up at 5:30am this morning. 
Looks like its going to be another lovely dayagai today. It is lovely and warm and the sun is shining brightly.
Yesterday, I cleaned and disinfected my large holdall bag for Steven as he is going on a weeks holiday to Cornwall on Friday with his mum and her boyfriend Lee and Jade and they will all be meeting up next week with his other Nan and grandad who are at this moment holidaying in Devon, they will both be going to stay in Cornwall for a week too.

I'm wondering if I will be going out anywhere nice this year or not!!?? I hope to think I will or wish something nice will happen...Sigh! I long to be beside the sea for the fresh air.



 

Friday, 30 June 2017

Moorfields Eye Hospital...Cataracts!




This morning I made dinner early for ? and G/son for 12:pm. I had some cooked beef that I had defrosted and put it in a dish with gravy for about an hour and served it with mash potato, cabbage and carrots. I didn't have any dinner myself as I had to get ready for this afternoon as I had an appointment at Moorfields Eye Hospital Clinic at Upney, Barking. 
I was picked up by Ambulance around 12:30pm. My appointment was for 1:45pm and arrived at the clinic and bought myself a cup of coffee and a small packet of biscuits.
I was called out early for a field test and pressure test, then waited a long while to see the Dr. The Dr was taking a long time with each patient.
There wasn't many people there this afternoon really, I thought it would be packed out. 
I got chatting to a lady from Hornchurch, she came in after me and left before I saw the Dr. 
Then it was my turn. I went in to see the Dr. She gave me a test I hadn't had done before for color blindness and that was fine. The Dr said the pressure in my R/eye was 12 and L/eye was 11 and she was pleased with that. The last few times it was as high as 16 and 17. So, I'm pleased too. But, the Dr. did say she was concerned about the cataracts, mostly my R/eye as it has got worse and has advised me to have the ops done on both my eyes. After I had seen the Dr. I had to have another test called HRT, then I left.
The Dr. wants to do the R/eye first being it is the worst one. 
I've got an all day appointment 3rd November to have tests done throughout the day from 8:30am until the end of clinic. I can see this is going to be a boring day. I think the Dr said this appointment is to see if everything is ok so they can do the ops and I think there's another appointment for pre-op too!? 
I did say I wasn't sure about these ops because of complications. The Dr. said it is very rare that things go wrong.
Oh well, I will go along with the flow


 

Tuesday, 27 June 2017

Why is It We Always Seem Too Hurt The One's We Love So Dearly?



Why is it we always seem too hurt the one's we love dearly? And a mother and daughter are at loggerheads over what? All because the mother worries about the daughter and find it hard to let go and let the daughter make her own mistakes in life so she can learn from them herself. And the mother can be over protective and ends up pushing her daughter away instead of pulling her closer.
And, the daughter thinks she knows better.

I feel like piggy in the middle. I love my daughter Sheila and granddaughter Zoe the same and I'm worried about both of them. 

My Daughter Sheila:
She is in a bad place and has been for sometime now, her mind is set on destruction (herself) and has tried this week to hang herself, and not so long ago, I think it was April she tried to over dose with medications and drink, but failed and both times taken to hospital. I am so worried that she will succeed one day.
I feel numb and worried, wretched inside (can't think of better words to use here) too know that sheila has tried to do this to herself. 
Sheila loves Zoe so much that she tries to protect her in her own way, which is so overpowering at times, but Zoe sees it as trying to control her life for her. Zoe is rejecting Sheila. Now they're not talking at all. 


Sheila had been speaking to Zoe on the phone Sunday evening, all seemed ok, I could here Zoe answering ok and later ok and so on...then Zoe's voice changed and she kept saying 'what ever' and all hell let loose. Zoe slammed the phone down and went up in the air crying. Her mum had been telling her what to do with attitude.
Zoe had been good all day and singing, we all had a good day, Zoe was in a happy mood. I only asked Zoe once to clean her room and she did, she done her washing and hung it out and helped with a couple of other bits that needed doing. Zoe had no intention of going out at all.  

Sheila came round to me Sunday late evening about 10:30pm. Zoe got dressed and went round her friends house before Sheila arrived, Zoe didn't know Sheila was coming round.
I was actually in bed watching TV and talking to Sheila's husband John on the phone, he hadn't heard Sheila go out. I heard my front door shut and thought it was Zoe come back, then my bedroom door opened and in came Sheila.
When Sheila got here she was in a bad state, she was drunk, and crying and gave me a long hard cuddle. We chatted for sometime, Steven made us both a cuppa and we chatted some more for over an hour. She couldn't tell me what was wrong. The start of all this was when Zoe self harmed herself last year. I asked, what has triggered all this off, she said, she didn't know. I asked, is it John? she said, no he has been great and is worried that he will leave her because she has tried suicide twice and he's got a lot to put up with her and what with Zoe too. I took the car keys off Sheila and She got a cab home.

My Granddaughter Zoe: 
All she wants to do is live her own life and learn from her own mistakes and she has made quite a few mistakes in her short life already. She is 18 years old and says she is free to do what she wants  now she is 18.

Zoe tells me where she is going and what time she will be home or if she is staying at friends, but sometimes I do believe she is lying to me. I asked her to tell me where she is for safety reasons only. I don't tell her what to do or where she can or can't go. I only want her to be safe and be sensible about certain things and am worried in-case she isn't conducting her life in a proper manner and hope she don't get a bad name or something.Well, these things go through my mind same as any parent/grandparent I suppose.

I remember when I was 18 and thought I knew everything and really did not!? I was still a stupid kid that still needed advice from elders to put me right, although I never did do anything wrong and always have conducted my life in a proper way.

Today, I discovered something concerning Zoe and I showed ? (hubby) because I don't hide things from him and he's very upset over Zoe as I am too. 
I haven't told Sheila because it would set her off again and I won't reveal it here anyway. 
I don't know how Sheila is holding up. She went back to work yesterday to keep herself busy because if she stayed at home she would be sitting around thinking all sorts. Sheila has got an appointment with a psychotherapist next week.

Its a shame because when sheila and Zoe are ok they get on really well together. I do believe its got a lot to do with Sheila's drinking. Of course Sheila say no it isn't. 

Zoe stayed out last night at her friends, so she told me, but hasn't returned home today as yet, she should be home around 10:30pm tonight. She hasn't contacted me at all today. Zoe messaged me from her friends to borrow some money. I  told her I haven't got any and she asked me to ask ? and he said no too. Anyway, she came back here and asked ? herself for some money, he told me to give her £10 and she left, she has since blocked me from messenger. 

Sheila takes after her dad ? they are both manipulative and controlling 


                                                       Sarah! 


 

Friday, 23 June 2017

My Zoe's 18th Birthday...Alton Towers...Job Center



It's been a little while since I last posted here
My Granddaughter Zoes Birthday coming up 14th June. She will be 18 years old. Zoe has always been special to me because she was born on my Dads Birthday.
My daughter, Zoe's mum Sheila is taking here to Alton Towers and staying over for a couple of day your birthday present, just Sheila and Zoe are going.


We have been so worried about Zoe because she had been living else where and we hadn't heard from her for quite a while. I have been in contact with her via messenger here and there, but I still worried about her. I am glad, more content to know  Zoe is safe and back within the fold of our family.
Zoe has settled down a lot now since she has been back. Zoe came to me early hours Good Friday morning 6:45am 14th April this year with all her belongings in a large case. I won't go into details as it is long and private. But I will say this, I am glad she had sense enough to come here to me.

It is now 16th June... 
Our Zo is now 18 years old. Sheila took Zoe on her trip to Alton Towers and they both had a wonderful time. They Left Tuesday 13th June and came home on 15th June. I just hope Zoe don't change her attitude towards things and she conducts her life  in a reasonable manner now she is 18.

It is now 23rd June...
Zoe has gone to the Job Center this morning to sign on, or find work if possible. Her friend Katy has gone with her.





Monday, 10 April 2017

Thing's That Has Been Happening Lately...

 
It's been a while again since I wrote here. 
My daughter Sheila took me out for afternoon tea March 13th for my up and coming birthday 15th April when I will be 70 years of age. She took me out at that time as it was her weeks holiday from work.
I had a wonderful time scoffing all the goodies as you can see...haha! Seriously it was a lovely day. Afterwards we went back to Sheila's and watched a DVD and I returned home around 5:pm. Thanks Sheila for my lovely day.




Well what can I say! A few other things have happened since I last posted here. 

My Zo has moved too Plaistow, London with her boyfriend Shane and his family. 
I have been keeping in contact with Zoe via facebook messaging. She seems to be ok, but I sometimes wonder if it is her I'm chatting too!?? I have sent her an Easter card, if she gets it she will message me and let me know she's got it. And, I think I will ask Zoe what I say to her about a holiday and see if she responds to that. If its Zoe I know what she would say.

And there's Steven what can I say about him!?? He don't do much and stays in his room a lot which I've told him he should be doing things and going out, and he wears sunglasses all the time which is no good for his eyes. He is and has become a problem and I just don't know what to do about him.

? is in a lot of pain and has worsened over a matter of weeks I would say. He is getting lots of pain in his body and a lot of bad headaches and pains in his head. And he has a lot of aggression in him.

As for me, I get so down in myself at times which makes me angry with myself a lot of the time, mostly because of all the negative issues around me all day and every day, but I cope  the best I can.
I have got another chest infection and I'm now on antibiotics and steroids. I started taking the antibiotics on Saturday 8th April and started to take the Steroids today 10th April. I will have to keep an eye on this infection in-case it turns into something else. At my age I can't be too careful as it worries me a bit.

I started the 2-Day Diet last week and doing ok on it too. Monday's and Thursday's are my 2 days of fasting and tomorrow is my weigh-in day. I am feeling good about this diet. I've got to do this diet foe health reasons, too late for vanity for me.
I have 2 facebook friends doing the same diet so we can compare. It is good for our morale to be diet buddies.  

Well, that's all the news I can think of right now, but I think I have left out a few other issues that has happened as I can't remember anything else.


Tried Out A Couple Of Things...

I've been trying out a couple of things this week.  I've made a few graphics using my phone, made a couple of CD's and I ...